i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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