Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
