I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Ladies don't puke and tell
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
