Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
