We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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