Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
