Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
