K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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