My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
