Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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