wrigley field is MILF paradise
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
did i just pee glitter
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
