You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
