I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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