Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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