My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
