Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Randomize
