Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
