I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
