Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
whose parrot is this?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
