last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize