she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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