Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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