i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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