I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
