He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
