You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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