I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
