Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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