I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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