Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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