Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
