Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
