So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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