Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
