No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
