You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
