So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
