I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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