I wanna passion pit in your ass
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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