I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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