One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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