Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
