i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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