ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
