garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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