Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
