Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
