Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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