i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
