Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
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I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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