youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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