Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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