Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
