My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize