i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we made out on top of his cat.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.