my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
