Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
