my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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