His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
