my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize